Be With Someone Who Does These 3 Things For You

Three essential pillars of a healthy relationship.

Matt Lillywhite
2 min readSep 11, 2020


Photo: Keenan Constance/Unsplash

Everyone wants to have an extremely healthy relationship. The only problem? Most people have absolutely no idea where to start.

It’s a common issue that many couples face. But over the past few years, I’ve learned that three things can make a massive difference in the quality of your relationship.

Here they are.

Your Partner Trusts You.

It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship if it’s built on lies instead of trust. You should feel comfortable knowing that you both have each other’s best interests at heart. And you both need to be willing to take ownership of your mistakes and do whatever it takes to fix any problems that arise.

But unfortunately, most people aren’t willing to do that. They let fear and emotion cloud their judgment. They make minor problems a lot bigger than they need to be. Consequently, they never have great relationships due to their inability to wholeheartedly trust their partner.

Don’t be like most people. Don’t assume that your partner is doing something behind your back, without having evidence to support any accusations. Every day, trust each other.

Your relationship will certainly benefit as a result.

Your Partner Is Honest About How They Feel.

Your partner won’t know there’s a problem unless you tell them. Similarly, you need to say it’s okay to voice how they feel. Because when you’re both willing to learn from the past, it’s much easier to create a better future.

If something is on your mind, don’t keep your mouth shut, hoping that the problem will eventually disappear. It won’t. Instead, talk to each other, and create an environment where it’s okay to be honest about how you both feel.

No relationship is absolutely perfect. Problems are inevitable. So let go of judgment and stop worrying about everything you can’t change. Focus solely on what you can.

Your Partner Loves You For Who You Really Are.

You shouldn’t need to change who you are just to make someone happy. Nor should you change your personality, appearance, or anything else just to feel loved by your partner. That’s not healthy.

Pretending to be someone you’re not is just a recipe for disaster and heartbreak. Instead, accept that you won’t get along with everyone, and spend more time with people that you do. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Want to be notified whenever I publish a new article? Click here.



Matt Lillywhite

I'm trying to visit 100+ countries. You can find my work in Publishous, Mind Cafe, and other publications on Medium.