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HUMOR

Big Tech Companies Won’t Hire Me. Here Are The Rejection Emails

At least the HR Departments were polite…

Matt Lillywhite
3 min readJun 27, 2022

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Image via IStockPhoto

It’s always been my dream to work for a big tech company.

So, when I applied to work at several firms in Silicon Valley, I was understandably disappointed to get rejected by all of them.

Here are the emails I received:

Google

Dear Mr. Lillywhite,

Thank you for submitting an unsolicited job application for the position of “Google CEO.” Unfortunately, we are very happy with Sundar Pichai and will not be replacing him anytime soon.

If you want to work for Google, please apply for a position as soon as one becomes available. However, we appreciate your willingness and commitment to the company by “following up” thirty times.

Best wishes,
HR Department.

Facebook/Meta

Dear Matthew,

On behalf of Meta, I would like to thank you for applying to work at our company.

We appreciate the time you spent with our team discussing how our company can “distract the American public from Mark Zuckerberg being a lizard.” Professional…

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Matt Lillywhite
Matt Lillywhite

Written by Matt Lillywhite

Storyteller and part-time procrastinator. Writing to inspire, entertain, and avoid doing laundry. Substack: https://mattlillywhite.substack.com/subscribe

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