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HUMOR
We Warned You About Billionaires Like Elon Musk
Everyone’s secretly jealous of him
I never understood the societal distrust of billionaires until yesterday evening.
Elon Musk and I went out for dinner to celebrate an increase in Tesla’s stock price. We were both overjoyed because we had an extra million dollars in our bank accounts. Yay.
But while eating a $350 steak, Elon told me that everyone is secretly jealous. “People dislike billionaires because they want to have more money,” he said. “So, they criticize rich people like us to feel better about their own financial situation.”
Now, everything makes sense.
Rich People Like Myself And Elon Know Exactly What We’re Doing
Some people call me an uncharitable asshole for having a lot of money and not giving it to the poor. But here’s a fun fact: anyone who says that is a lying conspiracy theorist. Last year, I gave over $500,000 to various charities because each donation is tax-deductible. I’m very generous.
Anyway, Elon and I have been best friends for years. He’s even promised to fulfill my childhood dream of becoming an astronaut as I’ll be the first man to walk on Mars during a SpaceX mission.
