How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You

“It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters” — Epictetus

Matt Lillywhite
4 min readSep 3, 2019


What’s your biggest insecurity?

Is it your appearance? The way you speak? Or perhaps a fear of something else?

I’m not going to judge you. In fact, I’ll start by sharing mine:

I have always felt insecure about the way I look. There’s something about having a slightly pointy chin which compelled others to compare me to a tortilla chip or a triangle.

Although I couldn’t change my appearance, the constant barrage of insults led to a reduction of self-worth for many years. In the words of Tim Fargo: “If you want to improve your self-worth, stop giving other people the calculator.”

We cannot control the actions of others. Nor we can we decide how they feel, or what they may think about us. As unfortunate as it may seem, you can’t please everyone; some people are going to dislike you.

So instead of worrying about our self-doubts, we should be asking why the insecurity is there in the first place, and what we can do to overcome it.

Below are several tips on how to overcome your biggest insecurities and live a happier life.

Granted, they may not be easy. However, if you take the time to digest the information fully, you will have a clear sense of purpose, direction, and clarity.

I Have A Question: What Are You Doing To Take Care Of Yourself?

It’s effortless to beat yourself up when things don’t go as planned, and to stress over each detail of a situation. But it is challenging to make progress if you’re not allowing yourself to make mistakes, and discover what a happy life means to you.

I’m no stranger to this concept. For years, I was judging myself and criticizing each action with an unhealthy dose of cynicism.

This is not a great way to live.

Instead, a better solution is to focus only on the situations which we can change. Life can be unpredictable, challenging, and brutal at times. Epictetus said it best: “The more we value things outside of our…