Satire
The Leaked Resignation Letter Of Boris Johnson
The former British Prime Minister didn’t say this publicly…
Good afternoon, everybody. Thank you for listening to my resignation speech. As you would expect, I am furious that I am no longer Prime Minister. It’s a catastrophe. Despite being plagued by one political scandal after another, the Conservative party no longer believes in my impeccable leadership.
It’s a shame.
So, I want to deliver a message to the millions of peasants who voted for us during the 2019 general election: what you did wasn’t good enough.
Too many members of Parliament have revolted against my government. If we had more Conservative MPs in the House of Commons, perhaps I would still be Prime Minister. But alas, I am not.
I have fought so hard to stay in office because I love power. I genuinely enjoy being the leader of a global superpower with nuclear missiles bigger than my hangover from the Downing Street parties. For anyone who wasn’t there due to the national lockdown imposed by my government, it was wonderful.
Hehe.
Of course, I’m immensely proud of the achievements that our great country has accomplished under my government. The European Court of Human Rights…
