The Secret To Happiness Is Healthy Relationships

A proven process for building an extremely fulfilling life.

Matt Lillywhite
4 min readAug 25, 2020
Photo by Delfina Iacub on Unsplash

For a long time, I didn’t know how to live a happy life. Whenever I hung out with friends in my small town, they were always depressed about the state of the world. So naturally, I didn’t have any inspiration or motivation to begin the process of improving my mindset.

The truth is that I genuinely thought I’d always live an extremely unhappy life. But while reading a book in my local library, I came across the following quote that completely changed my way of thinking:

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. “— Jim Rohn

I quickly realized that it was possible to feel happy and fulfilled each day. How? By designing my life in a way that enables me to spend more time with loved ones and people that want the best for me. And within a few weeks, the strategy worked.

So if you want to do the same, here are a few things you can do to start. Each of these insights changed my life for the better, and I’m sure they will do the same for you, too.

Remove Negative People From Your Social Circle.

When you stop hanging out with people that don’t inspire you to fulfill your potential, it’s much easier to spend time with people who do. Perhaps that’s what the Greek philosopher, Epictetus meant when he said:

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”

The truth is that you’re not going to be happy if you continually surround yourself with people who complain about their lives and the state of the world.

I know that might be a hard pill for you to swallow. But it’s true. So if you want to begin making progress in your pursuit of happiness, you first need to identify the people that are holding you back.

For example, I used to hang out with people that regularly said that life was unfair. But instead of finding ways to make a little bit of progress each day, they never wanted to do anything to change their situation.

At first, I was reluctant to cut them off. But a few weeks after removing them from my social circle, I found myself feeling a lot happier and optimistic than ever before.

“People inspire you, or they drain you — pick them wisely.” — Hans F. Hansen

So take a moment to evaluate the people you spend a lot of time with. Do they want the best for you? Do they inspire you to succeed, and become the best version of yourself? If the answer to either of those questions is no, remove them from your life immediately.

Surround Yourself With People You Admire.

Once you’ve eliminated negative people from your life, it’s important to immerse yourself in a social circle of people that you genuinely admire. Roy Bennett said it best:

“Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.”

One strategy I use to improve my social circle is writing a list of characteristics that I consider to be vital for a healthy relationship. For example, I place an extremely high importance on honesty, integrity, and respect when it comes to making new friends.

As a result of doing this, I’ve found that it’s much easier to identify the people who genuinely want the best for me from those who don’t.

So if you want to live a more fulfilling life, make an effort to surround yourself with people who have characteristics that you admire. Because although it may seem like a simple strategy, the effect it’ll have on your happiness is truly profound. Wilfred Peterson said it best:

“Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground.”

Applying these strategies to create healthy relationships is something that you can easily do today. And once you implement them, you’ll quickly find yourself living a much happier and more fulfilling life than ever before.

I’m going to leave you with a quote from Ali Kreiger, who perfectly sums up what I’m trying to say: “Surround yourself with good people. Surround yourself with positivity and people who are going to challenge you to make you better.”

--

--

Matt Lillywhite

I've earned $250,000+ writing online. Want to do the same? Email me at Mattlillywhite20 (at) gmail (dot) com