To Overcome Your Insecurities, Understand Where They Come From

A crash course in eliminating negative thoughts.

Matt Lillywhite
5 min readNov 30, 2020


Photo by Charnee May on Unsplash

I used to feel insecure all the time. I was frequently worried that everyone would judge me for the insecurities I saw in myself. Honestly, I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror because I always felt embarrassed.

Looking back, I realize that I allowed negative thoughts to get to my head. I let my insecurities control my mindset and prevent me from living a genuinely happy life.

I felt hopeless. But one day, I learned that the best way to overcome your insecurities is to understand where they come from. Because once you can identify why they exist, it’s much easier to prevent them from affecting you in the future. Quoting an article published by VeryWellMind:

“When you start confronting your negative views, you can begin to notice how many of them are not true in your life. Instead of assuming the worst, you may realize that you feel disappointed you did not reach a certain goal, but also accept that you are learning and growing from your mistakes and setbacks.”

From this, I learned that your mindset will never improve until you take action. Why? Because the only person who can control your thoughts is you. Which means you have the power to prevent them from negatively impacting your life in the future.

Here’s how:

Spend A Few Minutes Each Day In Self-Reflection.

Blaise Pascal once wrote, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” He’s right. We often avoid thinking about our problems because we hate feeling uncomfortable. However, that’s what we need to do. Because it’s only when you embrace the discomfort that you can truly expand your comfort zone.

Let me give you a personal example. I used to have social anxiety. I was genuinely afraid to make new friends. But one evening, I sat in my room for 30 minutes and thought about my rationale for being so scared of making new friends. I had a paralyzing fear of being judged. I couldn’t figure out how to overcome my negative thoughts.



Matt Lillywhite

I'm trying to visit 100+ countries. You can find my work in Publishous, Mind Cafe, and other publications on Medium.